tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10928112854766187402023-11-16T11:25:30.001-05:00Down Syndrome - The Real StoryThis is my journey through the trials and tribulations of raising a Down Syndrome child. This is not the "happy, happy, joy, joy" stuff, but the reality of it all. I hope you find this a safe place to share your stories.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-90601283007731582042012-05-24T21:33:00.000-04:002012-05-24T21:33:39.943-04:00Another UpdateSince Chelsea is approaching her 18th birthday in August, this seemed to be an appropriate time for another update. She continues to thrive in ways I could never have imagined. She went to a school dance with a young man; she looked so beautiful in her dress. She has learned to speak very clearly and her behavior is nearly perfect. She looks healthy and happy, and I know she is loved. We got together with our extended family and held a swim party for her and then out for dinner. We all had a great time and got lots of Chelsea-hugs. I miss her every day, but I know that she is so much better off with her foster mom. Just because I love her with all my heart does not mean that I am capable of giving her the best care, I clearly was not. There are times I feel guilty for turning her over to her foster mom, but then I just think about how well she is doing. She is so much better off now, and no matter how much I miss her, I have to remember that I did it for her best interest. Bottom line - not everyone has what it takes to raise such a special child, and I readily admit I don't have what it takes to do it right.
Some folks (who obviously didn't have a real high opinion of me) had indicated that they thought my life would continue to be miserable even if I didn't have Chelsea, I guess they were insinuating that being a tired, depressed, bitter person was just my nature and Chelsea was my excuse. I can admit that the first year after she left was pretty bad. I was still depressed, my marriage still in trouble, and my finances in an even deeper hole than before. Add to that the guilt I felt for having failed to be strong enough to take care of Chelsea, and it was a pretty rough road that I wasn't sure I would come back from. Over time, however, life has gotten better. I've adjusted to life without her, I have been in counseling since she left, and I have started to live like a normal middle aged woman. It just took awhile to find out what that even meant. I have just gotten to the point where I feel okay about running to the store late at night, there's still that little tiny bit of feeling like I can't do that. I never experienced any burst of a sudden sense freedom, just a laboriously slow return to something close to normal. Finally, we are happy, and Chelsea is happy. And after all, wasn't that the point?firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-42554992421444731602011-01-22T16:55:00.000-05:002011-01-22T17:02:45.779-05:00UpdateI know it's been forever since I've written anything, but I know there are still a few of you subscribed, so I thought I'd provide you with an update. Chelsea is doing wonderful in her new home. In a few months she has gotten to experience more than she would in a lifetime of living with me. She has a new wardrobe. She has been to the beach in South Carolina. She was present at the birth of her new cousin. She has learned to cook. She has started an exercise class with her foster mom. She is finally having the life she so richly deserves. As for me, all the health issues I was having while she was still here turned out to be cancer and I am so glad she was not here during my treatment and surgery. All is well and I have been given a clean bill of health, but I don't know how on earth I would have taken care of her during all of that. Once again, I believe I have made the best decision for Chelsea.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-31355359227728384202010-05-29T11:40:00.004-04:002010-05-29T12:07:11.568-04:00The Right Thing To Do<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii3JHelrUlVWFZ9ioN2_-kqsqYXUl0WdYOusLc0ksYRiysatcU_GsWvundtvgIX6SEWUQev3BVJmg9fM13ogzeQTtgBU_0w51R7pvIBMjKKRrsovnRTxSUd_-J3-3K6TxWOpAB5XyfWSaV/s1600/special+olympics.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 166px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii3JHelrUlVWFZ9ioN2_-kqsqYXUl0WdYOusLc0ksYRiysatcU_GsWvundtvgIX6SEWUQev3BVJmg9fM13ogzeQTtgBU_0w51R7pvIBMjKKRrsovnRTxSUd_-J3-3K6TxWOpAB5XyfWSaV/s320/special+olympics.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476724128677782770" /></a><br />It's been awhile since I've posted, mostly because between taking care of Chelsea and my escalating health problems, I just chose not to make time for blogging. Depression also played a role in my decision not to blog, I just couldn't deal with one more thing that needed done. I decided to come back today to let all of you know about some major changes that are taking place. Over the last few months I escalated my attempts to get some sort of help caring for Chelsea. My requests were always met with a negative response. It seems there truly is no help in the rural area I live in. I spoke with the local chapter of the Down Syndrome Association and, nope, nothing like that here. I called Job and Family Services, sorry, no help here. One evening, I sat down and really took a long, hard look at the situation. I had just come from the doctor, where I was informed that if I didn't do something about my stress level, I would soon have either a heart attack or stroke. Great advice, but how does one do that under these circumstances? That was the question I had to answer, and answer quickly. I looked at my struggling marriage, my 18 hour workday, my house that never gets clean anymore, and that sweet child who doesn't get the attention she deserves, and made a hard decision. I called Child Protective Services. To cut to the crux of this story, Chelsea is being placed in foster care. Her new foster mom is someone who is a special education teacher, a trusted friend and who Chelsea loves intensely. She will be living a block away from me. She will have a brand new set of bunk beds for sleepovers and a new wardrobe. She will be spending a week at the beach every summer. Sweet Chelsea is moving on to a new and wonderful life, the one she should have had from the day she was born. I have cried until I can cry no more, but I am comforted by the fact that no matter how hard it is to give her up, it is the right thing to do. After some time has passed, I think I can then start to put my own life back together, although I don't know what that life will be, I will manage, and I will know that Chelsea is safe and loved. For those of you who have been supportive and understanding throughout the time of this blog - you are good people and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your support is so important to those who are struggling, and I know I'm not the only one. I was just one of the few willing to put my struggles out there for all to see. To those of you who were judgemental and full of condemnation, well, what goes around comes around; I wish you well. I may be back with updates on Chelsea's life, or I may not, but either way, I did the right thing.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-79046515105720463902009-10-18T21:40:00.008-04:002009-10-18T21:45:50.146-04:00Halloween Pumpkin Pictures<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ1ue55Uiic4LaRUtG3yGdwJULP7CFq8IKeCe3ZqYI1gV8RoAJcvd69fadg6YTEO-bmDJfEuJUuTnmUvwW9ScGh7G53ItCBIhOWM_zZQbsm6yE85x-WgkKPGjPkFHk-mfjSo-FwQbu2Y3B/s1600-h/GetAttachment%5B2%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ1ue55Uiic4LaRUtG3yGdwJULP7CFq8IKeCe3ZqYI1gV8RoAJcvd69fadg6YTEO-bmDJfEuJUuTnmUvwW9ScGh7G53ItCBIhOWM_zZQbsm6yE85x-WgkKPGjPkFHk-mfjSo-FwQbu2Y3B/s320/GetAttachment%5B2%5D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394121150460887282" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcUkHxZDPlC__ckWrZx8PJgIC5CVu7bOMEIQJXYLm6mFl-kjVJEed1OYWIRIqVGmGQmqbUfPwucjZFY636oLv4ve2tUr_s3doc_C59ZUD-SX-tW0QVrX-IwFIBH7lm5rZXnmC6Q1B48nSU/s1600-h/GetAttachment%5B2%5D+(2).jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcUkHxZDPlC__ckWrZx8PJgIC5CVu7bOMEIQJXYLm6mFl-kjVJEed1OYWIRIqVGmGQmqbUfPwucjZFY636oLv4ve2tUr_s3doc_C59ZUD-SX-tW0QVrX-IwFIBH7lm5rZXnmC6Q1B48nSU/s320/GetAttachment%5B2%5D+(2).jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394120938032756322" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcdWviRXyMkWVL3Acd7Af5i5xN05gZ6eUogC6Fiwbygf6WslnR3mPa3Ofo_TDunXk_NA-LQPSbAdOeY1Zz1iFkJ3Oqn_0Vmh3HOqEmQ-ENQzXYr6gKsl8lysh9Ta3sD4FCXmhmnXE_hsNc/s1600-h/GetAttachment%5B3%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcdWviRXyMkWVL3Acd7Af5i5xN05gZ6eUogC6Fiwbygf6WslnR3mPa3Ofo_TDunXk_NA-LQPSbAdOeY1Zz1iFkJ3Oqn_0Vmh3HOqEmQ-ENQzXYr6gKsl8lysh9Ta3sD4FCXmhmnXE_hsNc/s320/GetAttachment%5B3%5D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394120793857319762" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigpKVGs3OkZRnuVPzGNMi_RhIcb6DIVyfeaP4fe7A2KuWTt1B3FoHx4aBkwG6nWES-r9yqJEzTv7u6qfJTx2t0Yo7ec-Q-dFxZ8w567Ht2BAMwuuawGpcrN2rfggZdwZ9ZhnmtXQmNXavA/s1600-h/GetAttachment%5B4%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigpKVGs3OkZRnuVPzGNMi_RhIcb6DIVyfeaP4fe7A2KuWTt1B3FoHx4aBkwG6nWES-r9yqJEzTv7u6qfJTx2t0Yo7ec-Q-dFxZ8w567Ht2BAMwuuawGpcrN2rfggZdwZ9ZhnmtXQmNXavA/s320/GetAttachment%5B4%5D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394120687086877698" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglm_4LtR5fUR7fTdk5tjXLJbgqLauH2IGudvELsQLDLp1g2UAY4TUqmrQEL6yrnAsFiE1_jCpc2U3hqcPiThBK8RdjYQzh1gXUZpJb-sw22Z9Lq7j0sEM0bpvlSHMrHxORQ54tX0MiA5bz/s1600-h/GetAttachment%5B1%5D+(3).jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglm_4LtR5fUR7fTdk5tjXLJbgqLauH2IGudvELsQLDLp1g2UAY4TUqmrQEL6yrnAsFiE1_jCpc2U3hqcPiThBK8RdjYQzh1gXUZpJb-sw22Z9Lq7j0sEM0bpvlSHMrHxORQ54tX0MiA5bz/s320/GetAttachment%5B1%5D+(3).jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394120616030299858" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWDgmbeNHmkeFsigGcbZf4cnL-oC_UbP9Gj1Oy3WvT8zb812faas-A9RFCtPyJB7ehyphenhyphen8WEgNjfM4Ed2SvZ8rwla6jiI9dRV82v3vhKne-pwZM9Wp3Omhk329D6zQUblAplVkgsq3i9-JVd/s1600-h/GetAttachment%5B1%5D+(2).jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWDgmbeNHmkeFsigGcbZf4cnL-oC_UbP9Gj1Oy3WvT8zb812faas-A9RFCtPyJB7ehyphenhyphen8WEgNjfM4Ed2SvZ8rwla6jiI9dRV82v3vhKne-pwZM9Wp3Omhk329D6zQUblAplVkgsq3i9-JVd/s320/GetAttachment%5B1%5D+(2).jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394120511384060370" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1i6N3Fz4K4ASScpPM9qq5W6caBlTIkMr9bb0-s6lS5JeFzdsRnsP0s6FPJAartXNQ685iUlB9gBXOqOgeQVnX9b3fIES_U0p25aDX7yRN1aIz7vvvgwVvSYjjA2TZzfZpoUj6IB9cAd6u/s1600-h/GetAttachment%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1i6N3Fz4K4ASScpPM9qq5W6caBlTIkMr9bb0-s6lS5JeFzdsRnsP0s6FPJAartXNQ685iUlB9gBXOqOgeQVnX9b3fIES_U0p25aDX7yRN1aIz7vvvgwVvSYjjA2TZzfZpoUj6IB9cAd6u/s320/GetAttachment%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394120419186322562" /></a><br />I thought you guys might enjoy pics of Chelsea picking out a pumpkin to decorate (no carving here!).firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-65617900003119927052009-10-11T13:59:00.004-04:002009-10-11T14:15:40.290-04:00Looking for your input<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2M7arFMPBnq7Uh0FwvxORqvP7gjVUWM100qiVH-cA5lDHd3utChDiMeZ7WBm1Ift5kV_fGU7MpIT1ZD0B3LcXkLy3R2DefhatqFgzaIg8pyYb_vBSsAAZs6vLg9YEDSdhmtYdtGluZHX1/s1600-h/down_syndrome+logo.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 100px; height: 181px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2M7arFMPBnq7Uh0FwvxORqvP7gjVUWM100qiVH-cA5lDHd3utChDiMeZ7WBm1Ift5kV_fGU7MpIT1ZD0B3LcXkLy3R2DefhatqFgzaIg8pyYb_vBSsAAZs6vLg9YEDSdhmtYdtGluZHX1/s320/down_syndrome+logo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391407692143694658" /></a><br />As some of you may be aware, I am building a directory of DS resources. I guess the lack of resources available for my family has driven me to do what I can to keep others from being in a situation similar to ours. Maybe I can learn a thing or two along the way as well. At any rate, one of the directory sections is Down Syndrome blogs. <strong>I would like to extend an open invitation to those of you who blog about your experiences as DS caregivers to include your blog in the directory.</strong> If you would like your blog included, just leave me a comment with your link and I will see that it is included. Feel free to let me know if there is something particular you would like included in the description, otherwise, I will use the information directly from your blog. If you would like to take a look at the directory to see if you are interested first, it can be found at <a href="http://downsyndromehelp.boomja.com/">http://downsyndromehelp.boomja.com/</a> Some of you may find your blog already there, if so, let me know if you don't want it included.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-8099728308966665122009-09-26T11:43:00.001-04:002009-09-26T11:44:54.844-04:00Nice blogPlease be sure to check out <a href="http://billandria.blogspot.com/"></a><a href="http://billandria.blogspot.com/"></a>http://billandria.blogspot.com/<a href="http://billandria.blogspot.com/"></a>. Great blog with much happier content than mine!firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-57306193110711586282009-09-13T11:15:00.005-04:002009-09-13T11:23:00.943-04:00By popular request - Pictures<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW_Q3QfSSz0vVpx3JZbx478R8xjaRMbgX42My0a43JrRLhGiwRmMycpwQdD_eZiLbOsK00utI_R_VxmFYW26n_stFGCKeqTdMs-Cx8JEAvQbQHn6R2FMXuOcBaXWy7x5xYej64iAY0vaei/s1600-h/field+trip+0308+002.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW_Q3QfSSz0vVpx3JZbx478R8xjaRMbgX42My0a43JrRLhGiwRmMycpwQdD_eZiLbOsK00utI_R_VxmFYW26n_stFGCKeqTdMs-Cx8JEAvQbQHn6R2FMXuOcBaXWy7x5xYej64iAY0vaei/s320/field+trip+0308+002.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380971998074170706" /></a><br />Chelsea with her class on a field trip to our greenhouse<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk1MVuJ20gzeG85MZ2kr4pIfAc0yg7u8ZOUNT-04dUpLLTfT1edqjGYoIF2tzD3VW4ZBqoMB2gotZKUWuttELR-mQE-ds5s3dkjQHqintr12vdNpRHjamQnNU1waeLhIB07p0fseLYqrq6/s1600-h/Chelsea+swimming.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk1MVuJ20gzeG85MZ2kr4pIfAc0yg7u8ZOUNT-04dUpLLTfT1edqjGYoIF2tzD3VW4ZBqoMB2gotZKUWuttELR-mQE-ds5s3dkjQHqintr12vdNpRHjamQnNU1waeLhIB07p0fseLYqrq6/s320/Chelsea+swimming.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380971805757959522" /></a><br />Chelsea swimming with her cousin<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-2R3e4PvyFkqkbl8dBRpwRadhMeVuz8_pzlz1EZvYyo6Zf5HVWuhxryJqMuJ4a9a4DfQ_eJyeyhs4RJ3uSge5OUpV_a_HImHd6psDLfGaDivif1JsaleWC0jbu6iTTUqKrU7H7Sv4QirW/s1600-h/Chelsea+Birthday.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-2R3e4PvyFkqkbl8dBRpwRadhMeVuz8_pzlz1EZvYyo6Zf5HVWuhxryJqMuJ4a9a4DfQ_eJyeyhs4RJ3uSge5OUpV_a_HImHd6psDLfGaDivif1JsaleWC0jbu6iTTUqKrU7H7Sv4QirW/s320/Chelsea+Birthday.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380971580321229154" /></a><br />Chelsea blowing out the candles on her birthday cake<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5j-CwRsMzBW_-BOi6goLxrnWuxVTpjni4SCDhuSBmUimikAlaKMl7nSW_Awq8uxt2Ece6jKlecwKckbdUvKqpwIZ_aC6qX9TL6rD8b3nIGI8rSKv53kjsA9EDENjK7mBZsw-QpaFHk7ZN/s1600-h/Chelsea.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5j-CwRsMzBW_-BOi6goLxrnWuxVTpjni4SCDhuSBmUimikAlaKMl7nSW_Awq8uxt2Ece6jKlecwKckbdUvKqpwIZ_aC6qX9TL6rD8b3nIGI8rSKv53kjsA9EDENjK7mBZsw-QpaFHk7ZN/s320/Chelsea.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380971300790948146" /></a><br />Chelsea with her dad, step-mom, and siblingsfiremom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-50201795071544144932009-09-13T10:53:00.003-04:002009-09-13T11:15:40.236-04:00Another day in paradiseI woke up to a beautiful morning this morning. The sun was streaming in through the window, a pleasant breeze bringing me the scent of fresh air. In my state of not being quite awake, I thought "What a nice morning, maybe we'll go have some breakfast somewhere." Then I woke up. Then I felt the sadness wash over me. I remembered that there are no more pleasant breakfasts with hubby at the local diner, no more mornings spent cuddling and enjoying the sunshine. No more mornings spent planning our future over coffee. This is our future, right here, right now. Do I regret giving up my future to insure that Chelsea has one? Not a bit. Do I desperately wish there was another solution? Absolutely. During the few short weeks my son had Chelsea, he signed her up on the group home waiting list in an adjoining county. The case worker told me that he told her point blank that he would not take care of her until she is 18. What a tragedy that this loving little girl is the subject of so much controversy, that her own father doesn't want to take care of her. It is the one thing that makes me ashamed of my son. I pray daily that some solution that is truly best for all, most of all Chelsea, will come to light. No matter what the cost, I will not abandon her or put her in a bad situation just because I want my life back. I will continue to love her, take care of her, and then cry in private for as long as it takes to find a solution. All of you who pray, please pray for us, for our family, for Chelsea. She deserves the best, and I am not capable of giving her more than mediocre, so please pray for something wonderful for her.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-41763603377702297712009-09-07T15:13:00.001-04:002009-09-07T15:13:43.596-04:00Just thought this was good...<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/o4y0k7zRGQw&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/o4y0k7zRGQw&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-12402164725982798572009-08-28T18:26:00.002-04:002009-08-28T18:34:29.520-04:00Chelsea's HomecomingWell, on Tuesday evening, Chelsea came home without much fanfare. My son dropped her off at around 7:30 pm and she had school the next day. She sat in her room watching a favorite movie for about an hour, and then asked me what time her dad was coming back. When I explained to her that she was back with us now, that her time with dad had been just a little vacation, she smiled and jumped under the covers. She was asleep in five minutes. I had no idea that he had not explained anything to her. She had not had a bath, and he didn't bring her clothes until 10:30 that night, clean but thrown unfolded in a box. Not my idea of preparing for the first day of school. That's just not how I live. I have everything ready the night before, baths over with, clothing laid out, etc. I like a nice, calm, organized morning. To make matters worse, I overslept the next morning, so it turned into a mad dash to get ready and get out the door. Chelsea took it all in stride, I, on the other hand, was a very unhappy camper.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-89520245104792893142009-08-20T20:46:00.002-04:002009-08-20T20:53:30.719-04:00The break is over, even if she isn't home yetWe have a few days left, but already I am preparing for school to start, getting her room cleaned, and having anxiety attacks about how I will schedule my doctors' appointments around her school schedule and the absence of anyone to babysit or get her from school if my appointments run over. I have appointments with specialists, and those can be all day events. I am worrying about how I will keep up with her laundry, because our dryer is irreparably broken and we can't afford a new one (or even a good used one). I worry about how I will take care of her if my family doctor's predictions of my final diagnosis come true. I think I am worrying too far ahead, yet I feel like I have to. They say that God never gives us more than we can handle, but I think that being 50 and taking care of a Downs child, being dirt poor, and having a possible diagnosis of MS (and no health insurance) hanging over my head is a bit much.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-1535004415776493592009-08-17T21:39:00.003-04:002009-08-17T21:47:37.467-04:00One more week of freedomSchool starts next Tuesday, so Chelsea will be back with us on Monday evening. I have such mixed feelings about it. Already I dread the loss of freedom. Back to begging someone to watch her so hubby and I can go somewhere together for a couple of hours. Back to the morning routine of getting ready for school; gone are the leisurely mornings filled with newspaper reading and coffee drinking. There will be no more uninterrupted conversations with my husband, no more sleeping in on the weekends, no more eating dinner at 9:00 pm just because we want to. But there is also a part of me that is excited to have her back. I miss her, plain and simple. If she's here, I know she's safe. This has been a wonderful few weeks' break for us, no doubt about it. It has given my husband and I a chance to reconnect, to remember who we were as a couple. I only hope we can hold on to that connection when Chelsea comes home again.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-44018833480620572922009-08-03T17:57:00.000-04:002009-08-03T18:05:52.291-04:00Chelsea is 15 today!I can hardly believe she is 15 years old today. It seems like just yesterday that I held her in my arms just minutes after she was born. Time goes by so fast, and it doesn't seem to matter whether times are good or bad, they still fly past us at the speed of light. When I blink again, she will be 18, then 30. We are celebrating her birthday this coming weekend, it is the only time all the family can get together. I am looking forward to it, it is one of the rare times when no one cares if she smears food all over. Her dad has a fenced yard, so the kids will be able to play and fling cake to their hearts content. In spite of all the bad, I am so grateful that she was spared the night her sister was murdered. I wish all of this had turned out differently, no child should have to be raised by old folks..lol. She should be where she is right now, at her dad's, playing with her brother and sister, being a kid. Not with us; we have no friends with kids, no fenced yard for her, and we're too tired to do much after working all day. She will be at her dad's for three more weeks, then back with us in time for school to start. I will enjoy and make the most of the three weeks of freedom I have left, but I will also miss her every minute of it.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-55755620650256573892009-08-02T11:29:00.000-04:002009-08-02T11:49:15.530-04:00For those who don't knowI often get get comments pointing out how depressing my blog is at times. I am quite certain that many find it to be a "downer" when perhaps they were looking for something uplifting. I thought maybe this would be a good time to bring to light the reason we have Chelsea in the first place, for those who don't already know. Perhaps knowing how we came to be Chelsea's guardians will explain why our experience is so different from those who are parenting a Down's child by choice. It is a rather long story, but I will summarize it. <br /><br />On July 13, 1999, Chelsea's baby sister was murdered by her mother and step-father. After much emotional trauma, dealings with Child Protective Services, and two murder trials, my son was given custody of Chelsea by the courts. He was a newlywed at the time, and the combination of the murder itself and having a disabled child placed in their lives with little warning caused their marriage to disintegrate and they divorced. My son tried valiantly to care for Chelsea on his own, but amidst his grief over his murdered child and his divorce, did not cope well. Chelsea was not thriving and learning as she had been before his wife left. In order to protect Chelsea and give her some kind of chance in the world, my husband and I agreed to take her until he could get his life in order. It has been years now, and he still cannot seem to cope with her. I understand this, because I can barely do so myself. <br /><br />I had only been married about a year when Chelsea came, having been happy and enjoying my life for the first time in years. Being middle-aged and suddenly have a disabled child to care for does not lend itself to happiness. I had always looked forward to that time in life when my boys were on their own and I could once again get to know myself as something other than someones caregiver. One event, on July 13, has had such a ripple effect in all of our lives, but I cannot let go of the thought that Bethanie's murder not only ripped a part of my heart out forever, it also cost me my happiness. If you really take the time to think of the emotional dynamic that takes place every day as a result of these events, you may have a better understanding of why my blog is not all about the wonders and joys of a Down Syndrome child. I will love protect Chelsea until my last breath, but I can't help but mourn the lost years of my life, just when I had started to enjoy them. For more information about Bethanie and her murderers, see my blog "Never Another Child" http://neveranotherchild.blogspot.com/ Thanks for reading.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-82255405182289811752009-07-28T21:52:00.001-04:002009-07-28T22:02:22.774-04:00The problems with the solutionMy son came and got his daughter. Just like that, no fuss, no stalling, no complaining. "Well, that was easy", I thought to myself. I should have known better. It was less than 24 hours before the calls and text messages starting. Pleas for help, tirades of how this is tearing his marriage apart, ruining his finances, etc., etc., and that was just Day One. Day Two arrives, and his wife left, said she couldn't handle it. Day Three, the wife returns and proceeds to spew venomous text messages at me, and I just wait for the rest. Day Four, oh Day Four, she started her period. Frantic calls again. My reply? "Why do you think I sent you the pads and briefs?" Day Five comes with no morning call or text. I feel trepidation, wondering if this is the calm before the storm. Late afternoon, and I hear the peep of my cell phone. It's my son, of course. He now tells me that he never knew what I had done for him for the past five years, and that he can't do it. I tell him he only has to do it for a few more weeks, and she will be back with us for nine months. Today is Day Nine, and no calls at all. Is is possible that the tough love that was so hard to institute is actually working? Could he actually be adjusting to having his daughter and taking responsibility for her? I will be waiting anxiously for tomorrow, but in the meantime I am basking in the glow of having a life again, even if only for a brief interlude.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-43479935318650221712009-07-20T18:28:00.000-04:002009-07-20T18:36:36.924-04:00A solution to the problem...I hopeI think we may have happened upon the solution for the summertime blues. We have told my son (Chelsea's dad) that he WILL keep his daughter through the summer months. He came and picked her up last night. It will be much better for her than sitting around all day with us old folks. She has two siblings to play with, a great big sturdy dog, and a fenced yard. No more sitting in front of the television all day in the summer. It is definitely what is best for her. My son lives just a few blocks away, so I am comfortable that I can drop in any time I feel the need to check on her. The thing is, I feel sad about the whole thing. Sad because I had to force her dad to take her for a few weeks. Sad that she seems to be the child no one wants, other than me, and I can't manage taking care of her with the other responsibilities in my life, all of which are necessary. I wonder what will become of her in the future. Will she be one of those people sitting in an institution, grasping for any little morsel of attention? I will do my best to prevent that from happening, but I am only one person, and one person with a ton of responsibility. It's just all so sad.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-43174490738191564432009-07-09T19:40:00.000-04:002009-07-09T19:48:49.788-04:00I really hate summerYes, this is one of my dark, depressing posts. Sorry, but this is where I vent, and hopefully get some encouragement. School is out for the summer, which means 24/7 Chelsea. It also means my hubby is too depressed to do anything around the house, which in turn means I work all day and then come home to clean up and take care of things, then start my data entry job. Every year I have trudged through the summer, but this one is different. I am sick. I am struggling to get through every day at work, and hoping I won't lose my job, but it is so hard to keep going when I feel like I do. I have to try to stay awake to do the online work at night in spite of meds that make me sleepy. Then there is the stress of wondering how this will all turn out. The doctor suspects MS, and if that is true, what will become of Chelsea? How ironic to have sacrificed so much of my life to keep her safe, only to have to send her somewhere else. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up, folks, I really don't.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-65831393741110917082009-07-01T20:28:00.000-04:002009-07-01T20:32:15.563-04:00Vocabulary software - interesting learning toolI just happened upon this software that helps with learning vocabulary and pronunciation, and who of us wouldn't like help teaching that? It has a free trail trial download link available, so you can try before you buy. I personally think this is pretty cool stuff! If you're interested in checking it out, just click on the post title and you're there.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-84003726880521182402009-06-06T23:03:00.000-04:002009-06-18T17:56:35.130-04:00ResourcesI am working on a new Down Syndrome resource directory that should encompass any and all resources in the US when I am done. I do plan to branch out to resources in other countries as well, but I gotta start somewhere! You can contribute to the directory yourself, or feel free to send me any resources you would like to see included (even if not US based). If you have a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">DS</span> blog, I will gladly include it in the directory. I will be working on this for many months, if not years,so your input is appreciated. Perhaps I can help someone find the support they need, and you can be a part of that, too. Here's the link:<br /><br /><a href="http://downsyndromehelp.boomja.com/">http://downsyndromehelp.boomja.com/</a>firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-73928269786893239572009-06-03T22:49:00.000-04:002009-06-03T22:54:50.974-04:00The Phone CallYesterday I got a call from the group home. Chelsea has been on the waiting list for about a year. They said they had an opening for her, but it was in a co-ed home. I turned it down. As badly as I want my life back, I couldn't accept the placement knowing she would be housed with grown men. I told them I would just wait for an opening at the all female home. Part of me wants there to be an opening tomorrow, part of me doesn't want there to ever be an opening. Sometimes I think I'm just crazy!firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-48441275102462399412009-05-18T22:21:00.000-04:002009-05-18T23:20:11.406-04:00Sometimes the stress is just too muchSchool will be out for the summer in just a couple of weeks and I still have no one to keep Chelsea. There are no day care centers in my area, and any within driving distance won't take her because of her chronological age. Meanwhile, my husband reminds me that he can't take care of her all day anymore, my son (her father) says he would have to adjust his work hours and he just doesn't think he can do that. I "adjusted" my entire life to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">accommodate</span> this situation but no one else seems to want to budge. I have no idea what to do.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-79535740739833086662009-05-11T19:49:00.000-04:002009-05-11T19:54:19.388-04:00Problem solved....for the momentThe <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Depo</span> shots failed miserably. What was supposed to solve a problem actually made it ten times worse. Instead of having to deal with the "problem" for five days a month, we had to deal with it every day for six months. God bless her doctor, she put her on birth control pills. Not only has the problem stopped, but Chelsea's mood has greatly improved. She will take the pills continuously for three months, then off one week, then repeat. She is getting an interesting case of acne, but that's easier to deal with than the other problem! Hooray!!!!firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-9196354003729996092009-05-10T17:27:00.000-04:002009-05-10T17:28:19.391-04:00Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there!firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-18083564146206414962009-05-05T19:56:00.000-04:002009-05-05T20:09:42.978-04:00A Set-backThe other day I found myself thinking that Chelsea had been pretty well-behaved lately. No episodes of incontinence, no eating of toys, no pulling the hair out of her dolls, nothing out of the ordinary for any kid. I met with her teacher a couple of days ago and she told me how much she had matured and how much better her behavior had been lately. Right about the time I started feeling pretty good about seeing results of our hard work...major backslide! I got some pudding out to put her pill in. After she took her pill, a customer needed taken care of (we own a greenhouse). I left the pudding sitting out on the counter. When I came back, she had eaten it with her hands like some kind of feral creature. She knows that she is not to touch food on the counter without asking. I won't go into the places she puts her hands, but I don't want them in food I'm planning to eat. Well, fairly minor transgression, so I just scolded her and reminded her of the rule. She pouted for a minute, then went back to watching a movie. A little while later, I gave her a plate of ravioli for supper. Another customer wanders in and I go out to tend to them. About 15 minutes later I went back into the house to find my while dog's neck encircled in spaghetti sauce. Chelsea has hurt our dogs before, and we have a solid rule about touching the dogs without an adult in the room. I suppose I needed a rule specific to choking the dogs. Needless to say, I was furious...and Chelsea is grounded. I don't think it will ever really get better, it just abates for awhile and then comes back with a vengeance.firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1092811285476618740.post-87152195581729722912009-04-26T21:35:00.000-04:002009-04-26T21:43:17.260-04:00Grown up stuffWe've had a pretty good couple of days (I think). About six months ago we started her on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Depo</span> shots, for obvious reasons. Well, they had the opposite of the intended effect and that which was only a once a month nightmare has been constant since last November. It finally stopped, and she saw the Dr. on Friday, who is putting her on the pill. Not the perfect solution, but <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">anythings</span> better than what we've been through. My mother thinks she should have a hysterectomy, and I am so torn about that. It's true that her monthly cycle is unmanageable. It's true that it would be disastrous if she would become pregnant, but how to I take an innocent such as her and subject her to surgery?<br /><br />I took her for a haircut and went for a whole new look. It's a cute little short, cool-for-summer 'do, and she loves it. It was a lot of fun watching her reaction to it. It will be a lot easier to deal with in the morning, too!firemom31http://www.blogger.com/profile/17943143390285606784noreply@blogger.com4