Chelsea's Homecoming

Well, on Tuesday evening, Chelsea came home without much fanfare. My son dropped her off at around 7:30 pm and she had school the next day. She sat in her room watching a favorite movie for about an hour, and then asked me what time her dad was coming back. When I explained to her that she was back with us now, that her time with dad had been just a little vacation, she smiled and jumped under the covers. She was asleep in five minutes. I had no idea that he had not explained anything to her. She had not had a bath, and he didn't bring her clothes until 10:30 that night, clean but thrown unfolded in a box. Not my idea of preparing for the first day of school. That's just not how I live. I have everything ready the night before, baths over with, clothing laid out, etc. I like a nice, calm, organized morning. To make matters worse, I overslept the next morning, so it turned into a mad dash to get ready and get out the door. Chelsea took it all in stride, I, on the other hand, was a very unhappy camper.

The Phone Call

Yesterday I got a call from the group home. Chelsea has been on the waiting list for about a year. They said they had an opening for her, but it was in a co-ed home. I turned it down. As badly as I want my life back, I couldn't accept the placement knowing she would be housed with grown men. I told them I would just wait for an opening at the all female home. Part of me wants there to be an opening tomorrow, part of me doesn't want there to ever be an opening. Sometimes I think I'm just crazy!

Nice quiet day for a change

No crisis of any kind today. I'll be marking this one on my calendar as a "once in a blue moon" event. I told my parents about our decision to search for a group home, expecting a tremendous backlash and assaults on my self esteem. Instead, I got a tremendous amount of understanding. I couldn't have been more surprised. Perhaps I am harder on myself than anyone else. I expect that people will think I am "dumping" her. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe they understand more than I realize. I hope so.

Just an average (not so fun) day

She starts the day by asking if she can go to the bathroom. I have no idea why she suddenly felt the need to start asking me that every single time, but she has been doing it for months now. I have told her to stop asking and just go. I have screamed at her to stop asking and just go. Nothing works, she just keeps asking. I've tried ignoring her in hopes she'd just go. That resulted in peeing in a teacup. So I just have to put up with the frustration of hearing that question several times a day for no reason. Most of what she says has no reason. She asks "Can I watch T.V.?" every single day. She has her own T.V. and has never been restricted from watching it any time she wants (except when she's grounded, which is rare). Out of nowhere she will say "You're my grandma". It has become one of many comments she makes that make me think "No shit, Sherlock" in my head. Of course, I can't say it, no matter how frustrated I am. I'm bracing myself for the nightly "Can I take a shower now? I love shower" that makes me want to scream. I think it bothers me so much because I hate shower time so much, yet she loves it. I know she has no concept of that, but sometimes it feels like she knows it and does it on purpose. We will be looking into group home placement in 931 days. Once that happens, she will be here a couple days a week, and we will have our life back. The group home is just a few miles down the road, so I can stop in and check on her on my way home from work every day. I can keep a close eye on her and get my life back. Only 931 days to go....