It's been awhile...

Hi all! I'm finally back after a long haul with my hubby. He donated his kidney to a friend and had some complications. I am happy to report that both hubby and friend are now doing great! Can you imagine the stress of trying to take care of a sick hubby for months on end and dealing with Chelsea at the same time? I'm going to guess that you really can't guess. But here's the really sad part...I spent an entire week of days in the hospital and nights in a hotel alone while he was recovering from the initial surgery, and they were the best days I've had in a long, long time. Sounds kinda twisted when I say it out loud, but it was so liberating to eat when I want, sleep when I want, not have to bathe anyone but myself. As much as I love Chelsea, I would be lying if I said I looked forward to coming back to her vortex. Back to cleaning up feces and urine, back to picking food out of her hair, back to the absence of peace. The surgery took place in Florida, which also happens to be my birthplace and my favorite place on earth. I had to leave it behind and come back to Ohio, where I hate the weather and about a million other things I won't bother to go into. I sunk into a deep depression, missing the healthy version of my husband, missing my beautiful ocean, missing the "me" I used to be. It has been months and I am just now starting to acclimate to my forced surroundings again. I keep thinking it will all be over someday and I can resume my life again, but I will be 50 this summer...how much longer must I wait?