Sunday, April 26, 2009

Grown up stuff

We've had a pretty good couple of days (I think). About six months ago we started her on Depo shots, for obvious reasons. Well, they had the opposite of the intended effect and that which was only a once a month nightmare has been constant since last November. It finally stopped, and she saw the Dr. on Friday, who is putting her on the pill. Not the perfect solution, but anythings better than what we've been through. My mother thinks she should have a hysterectomy, and I am so torn about that. It's true that her monthly cycle is unmanageable. It's true that it would be disastrous if she would become pregnant, but how to I take an innocent such as her and subject her to surgery?

I took her for a haircut and went for a whole new look. It's a cute little short, cool-for-summer 'do, and she loves it. It was a lot of fun watching her reaction to it. It will be a lot easier to deal with in the morning, too!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I hate feeling like this...

Summer is quickly approaching, and with summer comes Chelsea's summer break. Unfortunately Chelsea has reached an age where she is physically an adult and my husband cannot provide her personal care. My husband works our small business 14 hours a day in the summer and can't possibly watch her and do that. We had planned on a summer respite placement and we were so looking forward to it. A whole summer to be "us" again! Well, the bomb money in the county budget to pay for her summer respite. So, what am I supposed to do now? It's like having an infant and no day care, only worse. It's worse because I could find a sitter for an infant. I can't find anyone to keep Chelsea. There is no help out there. I don't know what people are supposed to do in these situations. I am at the point where I fear we will have to place her with the state, not because we want to, but because we have no choice. I will send another plaintive email to her case manager and let you know what happens.

Friday, April 17, 2009

And the Easter candy just keeps on coming

This is going to be a very short post because I'm a very tired woman. Although I enjoyed the smile on her face when she got Easter candy, there are only so many times you can tolerate having to hose down a 14 year old every time she eats a piece of candy. How on earth does she manage to look like she rolled in a vat of chocolate when she never left the table?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Up out of the darkness...for a minute

Since I've been accused of being dark, told that this site is a downer (no pun intended), I thought I would take a minute to tell you some nice stuff. Today is Easter. Since Chelsea will not be joining the ranks of little girls in their Easter finery today, I thought it would be nice to play the Easter bunny thing with her. When she didn't find a basket this morning, I told her that the EB must have stopped at her dad's instead of here. Lo and behold, dad came in with a huge basket, you know, the kind the EB leaves for good little girls. I sat her at the table with her haul and let her eat chocolate, jelly beans and peeps. Clean up was not pretty, but what the heck, she's just a little girl, after all. Happy Easter, everyone!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

It's been awhile...

Hi all! I'm finally back after a long haul with my hubby. He donated his kidney to a friend and had some complications. I am happy to report that both hubby and friend are now doing great! Can you imagine the stress of trying to take care of a sick hubby for months on end and dealing with Chelsea at the same time? I'm going to guess that you really can't guess. But here's the really sad part...I spent an entire week of days in the hospital and nights in a hotel alone while he was recovering from the initial surgery, and they were the best days I've had in a long, long time. Sounds kinda twisted when I say it out loud, but it was so liberating to eat when I want, sleep when I want, not have to bathe anyone but myself. As much as I love Chelsea, I would be lying if I said I looked forward to coming back to her vortex. Back to cleaning up feces and urine, back to picking food out of her hair, back to the absence of peace. The surgery took place in Florida, which also happens to be my birthplace and my favorite place on earth. I had to leave it behind and come back to Ohio, where I hate the weather and about a million other things I won't bother to go into. I sunk into a deep depression, missing the healthy version of my husband, missing my beautiful ocean, missing the "me" I used to be. It has been months and I am just now starting to acclimate to my forced surroundings again. I keep thinking it will all be over someday and I can resume my life again, but I will be 50 this much longer must I wait?