It's soooo quiet

Got her off to camp this morning and then I was off to start another hectic day at work. Hubby got sick in the middle of the day and I had to leave to take him to the Dr. It's finally evening. It is so quiet in the house that the silence is almost eerie. Who would think one kid could make so much noise, even when she's asleep? There's no T.V. noise, no babbling, no toy sounds, no rustling of the bed sheets, no snoring like a freight train. All I can hear is the singing of birds, the occasional passing car, a dog barking in the distance. I never hear those things when she's here. I only hear the white noise that is her. I have thought about her all day, hope she's having fun, hope she is safe. Do I wish she were home? Absolutely not! These rare evenings make me long for the life I had before she came. The quiet evenings sitting on the patio with hubby. Eating dinner at any time I choose. Not having to know anyone else's bathroom habits. Being able to jump in the car and go to the store anytime I want. Doing things with hubby instead of alone, because one of us has to stay home with her, and because it is too much hassle to take her along. I miss having friends over for cookouts and having a few beers. Heck, I miss having friends. In many ways, having her is not unlike when my own children were small. I was pretty restricted then, too. The big difference is that I knew my boys would gradually gain their independence, thus granting me my own freedom. Chelsea will never grow up, never be able to be left home alone while I go to the store. There is no end in sight, my prison sentence is for life. I keep waiting for one of those smiling moms whose greatest joy comes from cleaning poop off the walls of a teenagers room to tell me what drugs they're on. But nobody's giving up the secret.